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Any good jokes to share?
Here is one. ![]() |
Time for a Laugh [18++]
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Here is another one.
The three tragedies in men's life: 1. Life sucks 2. Job sucks 3. Wife doesn't |
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ROFL what a joke? To go on with that I hope nobody has to tell these from own experience :) |
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Since you've made this thread 18+, I'm going to submit pornography.
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Nope |
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@anuiran I'm impressed by the swift response. I hope you know I wasn't actually planning on it.
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So I walk into a bar and buy an ugly with no pretty friends a drink.
^ Massive joke. |
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@baldy, I don't have a warning, I didn't submit anything graphic. I just said I was going to.
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there are 3 missionaries out in the jungle and they get caught by cannibals and they are told they're gonna be eaten
1 of the missionaries knows their culture and asks to take the right of challenge, so they said ok The 3 are told to go into the jungle and bring back 10 fruits of their choice The first guy brings back 10 apples because he loves apples and thinks this is going to be an eating contest, however he is told he must shove all 10 apples up his butt without flinching or making a sound. He is able to get 1 in, but after the 2nd, he flinches and he is killed on the spot The 2nd guy comes back with 10 berries, and is instructed the same. He gets to 8 when he suddenly bursts into laughter. The cannibals look at each other confused, but they kill him anyways 2nd guy gets to heaven and the 1st says to him "dude you were so close! what happen?" "I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples!" |
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Your momma's so fat........
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that when she jump for joy... she got stuck |
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What happens when you have a Polish man marry a Puerto Rican woman?
Their kid spray paints on chain link fences .... ================================== How do you stop the Polish navy from sinking? You take off the screen doors. ================================== Why does the Polish navy use glass bottom boats? So they can see the old Polish navy. ================================== How did the Polish guy break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree. ================================== How do you get a one-armed Polish guy out of a tree? You wave to him. ================================== How do you get 100 Canadians out of a pool? You ask them to leave. ================================== What's 600 lawyers dead on the bottom of the ocean? A good start. ================================== Anuiran - feel free to edit anything you don't think belongs. And if I offended you, I apologize in advance. And yes, I'm almost 100% of Polish decent. |
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Lets see if this works.
Again, apologize if I offend anyone. ![]() |
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This definitely was written for soft wimpy men! |
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Exactly. What candy-ass needs his wife to wipe his ass and make pb&j sammiches for him all the damn time?
It is amusing either way. lol |
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@euggie
I read your joke just before my doctor visit. When I was lying face down on the treatment bed I was laughing hard at the joke and my doctor thought I had a seizure. |
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Three vampires walk into a bar. One orders a blood on the rocks.
Another orders a double blood. The third simply asks for a mug of hot water. "Why didn't you order blood like everyone else?" asks the bartender. The vampire pulls out a tampon and says, "I'm making tea!" .... ewwy. |
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I like this! Stealing it! |
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In case you needed a new coloring book.
In case you wanted to know what you shouldn't be wanking to. Of course my favorite book that helped me with my problem. |
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Facebook fodder...hilarious!!
The other night I was invited out for a night with the "girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him "MIDNIGHT"... he didn't seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh shit" Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted. |